Archive for June, 2004

What is PTSD?

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004

So you want me to tell you about
The wounds you cannot see?
You want to understand
All about PTSD.
Me too!

It’s really hard to say
From many painful levels.
Sometimes I think, “Is this real?”
Or my own shameful devils.
Who knows?

The feeling tank’s on empty
Except for numb and angry.
Each day begins with worry,
Fear and panic make me weary.
Who cares?

Pour a whacked-out cocktail:
Two parts sore, two parts scary,
Two parts hidden, two parts horny.
Shake it well to keep life iffy.
Want one?

Most important, don’t forget
You have to hear what I can’t say.
When I tell you to go away,
Take my hand and say you’ll stay.
Please?

The River

Thursday, June 10th, 2004

There’s probably an important
day In every person’s life.
There is a big one in mine.
Whenever things are good,
It always comes to mind.

I know it was the Season
Cause the bird brought
Ammo, mail and chow.
Turkey, spuds and gravy
They kept it hot somehow.

Between Hill 55 and An Hua,
During the weird ” time-out,”
When we’d pretend to be at peace.
But we cross the Bon tomorrow,
Pushing Charlie to the beast.

2nd squad took the point.
Tried to stop, look and listen.
Our presence though made their decision.
Right on cue, we waded up to shore
To carry out the mission.

Moving slow and easy up the bank.
Then the whole damn beach exploded.
Dust and sand made it difficult to see.
Cleared vision showed only eight left standing,
And that included me.

Most were down with parts blown everywhere.
Our ears echoed deaf while we gulped hard for air.
We found Charlie’s wires that he had lit up
When our placements cued them ready,
We were ambushed by those bitches we called Betty.

Secured the scene and sniffed for Charlie’s exit.
Evacs enroute, we tended to the wounded,
Wrapping dead men into their coffin-ponchos.
We gathered up hate and honed it into fists.
They’d pay today and I’d do their honcho.

In the ville, we found the stash.
Charlie spitting at our questions.
So we fired up, turned it all to ash.
By my hand, an eye for eye,
I pushed God away forever.

Now, I’m back, right where it happened.
Soaked wet ins Perfume’s Cave of Mercy,
I shed mostly tears at Thien Mu at Hue,
I’m here to pray for my brothers
To the God I’d sent away.